Comments on: Why writers need to practice generosity

By: Daphne Gray-Grant

Daphne Gray-Grant — Fri, 19 Dec 2014 15:57:00 +0000

You’re lucky not to be a perfectionist, Jim. Being one has caused me a lot of difficulty over the years. But I think I’d change your quote above to, “A work of art is never finished. The artist simply becomes satisficed.” See: https://www.publicationcoach.com/satisfice-your-writing/

By: Jim Hayward

Jim Hayward — Fri, 19 Dec 2014 14:35:00 +0000

I heard or read a quote once “A work of art is never finished it is abandoned.” Wonder what you think of that.
A friend of mine who is a perfectionist say all he wants his work to be is adequate. However I think he realizes that is a perfectionists cope out.
If I was a perfectionist I would not even write a comment.

By: Jan

Jan — Fri, 19 Dec 2014 05:30:00 +0000

In reply to Daphne Gray-Grant. Thank you Daphne Best Wishes

By: Daphne Gray-Grant

Daphne Gray-Grant — Thu, 18 Dec 2014 15:13:00 +0000

In reply to Jan. I should have said this, so thanks for bringing up the point, Jan. But the negative talk does NOT have to be voiced out loud to be damaging!

By: Jan

Jan — Thu, 18 Dec 2014 11:04:00 +0000

This is a great article and I am ashamed to admit that I am judgemental to myself and others, not out loud but in my mind. This article really resonated with me. With a bit of effort I can get that little monster off my shoulder.

By: Daphne Gray-Grant

Daphne Gray-Grant — Wed, 17 Dec 2014 19:45:00 +0000

In reply to Julie VS. LOVE the comment, "Give them the third best to go on with; the second best comes too late, the best never comes." I'll remember that for future.

By: Daphne Gray-Grant

Daphne Gray-Grant — Wed, 17 Dec 2014 19:44:00 +0000

In reply to Jay Thorwaldson. Thanks for your interesting story, Jay. When I was in a newsroom I fear I was one of those vacant writers, staring off into space. (At least I was a super efficient and effective editor!) Good thing I've learned to write, since then.

By: Jay Thorwaldson

Jay Thorwaldson — Wed, 17 Dec 2014 19:33:00 +0000

Hi Daphne —
We communicated once before, on a technical matter, I think. But this time I wanted to compliment you on your sensitive and compassionate — and self-compassionate — essay on generosity. At first I thought you might be referring to financial generosity, but most writers I know don’t have a lot of excess $$ to toss around.
When I got your gist, I was impressed by your insight and clarity of understanding of one of the greatest challenges for writers, especially beginning writers.
When I was teaching newswriting at Stanford years back in my introductory lecture I would start out by holding up a blank piece of paper, then lead off with a comment that this is not a class in how to write a news story but in how to confront and conquer the scariest thing in America: the blank page.
When I was editor of the Palo Alto Weekly (I retired just under four years ago) we had a young man as an intern who would sit for long times staring at the screen of his computer. He was sitting just in the corner of my vision, and he would kind of slouch back and lay his right forearm across the top of his head, horizontally. As he sat and sat, I couldn’t help but notice as I blasted out stories or editorials or memos.
Finally, one day — unable to stand one more minute of his inanimate arm — I quietly got up, went over to him and said, “Andrew, type! Don’t just stare. I don’t care what you type, but type out the story and then go back and puzzle on the lead.”
He got better over the next three months or so. ….
I really enjoy your essays and comments, and 99.9 percent of the time agree with you.
Instead of a driving, highly competitive family I had a “critical mother” who would always lace a compliment with some kind of criticism. I think this had the same kind of result, partly from being angry about being criticized. My dad was a great guy and a stockbroker who dreamed of having his on “Thorwaldson and Son” local brokerage, but he died when I was 16 — and I was adopted into a journalism class in high school that had a great former-journalist teacher. I’ve never regretted it, and found that there aren’t many things in life more fun than journalism or more fulfilling than writing.
But in terms of being generous in the monetary sense, I should have become a stockbroker.
Keep up the great work! -jay
Jay Thorwaldson

By: Julie VS

Julie VS — Wed, 17 Dec 2014 17:24:00 +0000

Working as a graphic designer for small businesses where I wrote and designed a constant stream of layouts for a wide range of projects with tight deadlines cured me of my perfectionism. I created desktop wallpaper for my Mac that says “Prefect is the enemy of done.” (Someone’s spin on Voltaire’s “Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.”) Perfectionism is paralyzing. You can’t learn anything if you’re afraid of making mistakes. And if you’re expecting perfect from everyone around you, you’ll soon find that’s a very lonely hill to occupy…just you and God. Robert Watson-Watt, who helped develop radar said “Give them the third best to go on with; the second best comes too late, the best never comes.” With the sales tools I’m developing, I have decided I need to get a decent piece in the hands of our sales people and let them tell me how to improve the next version. My idea of perfect won’t be the same as the audience’s idea of perfect. And perfect, at least in my world, is a constantly moving target.

By: Daphne Gray-Grant

Daphne Gray-Grant — Wed, 17 Dec 2014 15:09:00 +0000

In reply to Lane. Thanks for your kind words, Lane.